I'm just a 36-year-old lad from Liverpool

I grew up in a loving family had a very privaliged upbringing along with a decent education including a degree and every opportunity to make something of myself. I wasn't dealt a bad hand but somewhere along the way, things went badly wrong. I'm 36 now and when I look back at the last 19 years, it's hard to believe some of the things I've been through, let alone that I'm still here to talk about them. I've battled severe depression, anxiety, ADHD and anorexia for most of my adult life. I've been suicidal, I've wanted to die and had two serious attempts that resulted in hospital treatment first followed by admission to mental health wards. Drug addiction took over my life for years and took pretty much everything I had. My relationships, my family, my self-respect, my freedom and any sense of a normal life. I've been homeless, slept rough and I also ended up in prison. I found myself in situations that are even now too difficult to talk about. I've lost people I loved, watched relationships with family fall apart and experienced a level of loneliness that's really difficult to explain unless you've lived it. I've made some terrible decisions over the years and I take responsibility for them, but I also know there were times when I was desperately unwell and didn't have the first clue how to help myself. People see addiction, prison or homelessness and it's easy to make assumptions. What they don't see is the person behind all of that, or just how much someone can be struggling while trying to pretend to the world they're alright. Fast forward to today I am living in my own little flat in Liverpool, trying to build something that resembles a normal life. And I won't pretend everything is suddenly wonderful, because it isn't. I still struggle with my mental health, my eating, my physical health and the lasting effects of everything I've been through. Some days are good, some shit, and there are still mornings when getting out of bed feels like more than I can manage. But when I look at where I've come from, I can look at myself and feel proud. I've worked hard and even started little businesses, got involved with organisations doing some genuinely good things and helped with projects aimed at keeping young people away from knife crime. I've discovered I've actually got skills, ideas and something to contribute. I've got a good heart, I care about people and I probably understand what it means to struggle more than I'd ever have wanted to. I'm still working things out. I still make mistakes, I still have regrets and there are people and parts of my old life that I miss more than I can put into words. Sometimes I look around my flat and feel proud of what I've managed to put together, and other times I sit here wondering how my life ended up so different from what I once imagined. I don't want sympathy, and I'm certainly not looking for a pat on the back. I just think sometimes people need to remember that there's a whole story behind the person they're so quick to judge. I'm not some amazing success story. I'm just a 36-year-old lad from Liverpool who's made a lot of mistakes, been through some really dark times and is still trying to find his place in the world. And after everything, I'm still here. That's got to count for something.